True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
