your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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