He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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