she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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