Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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