Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
