the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
