Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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