Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I touched a dick in church today
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
