Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
