Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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