I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
