my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay diarrhea
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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