If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
