Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
