At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
