She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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