My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
