I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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