the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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