you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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