sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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