We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
