The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
