u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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