i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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