somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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