I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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