when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i already hear my dad disowning me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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