Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
