Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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