We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
