talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She's the barista slut.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
