somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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