I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
