Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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