I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
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I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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