Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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