I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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