this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
