You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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