I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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