Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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