its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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