If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
