Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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