his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
