oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
