I'd wear matching sweaters with you
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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