operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
