So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
They have beer where we have blood.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
