I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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