i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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