i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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