New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
