My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
