if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
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Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
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