I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
